The last few days I have had this post on my mind and heart. I knew as Easter approached that I wanted to put something out into the universe about where I am spiritually. And I have been scared to do so. I think partly because I struggle to find the right words and partly because of vulnerability.
Funny side story- I actually had a post written and was ready to hit post. I needed a picture to go with it. Somehow in taking the picture and moving content back from my computer to my phone the post got deleted. And that was a blessing. Those words just weren’t right.
That post was all over the place. I had so many thoughts inside me and I was trying to get them all out at once. Not to say that this post won’t do the same. But I figured out my thesis this time around.
Thesis: God is Love.
I love talking about God. Sometimes it is hard because I am so afraid of offending or upsetting people. I am such a people pleaser and want everyone to be happy. I truly do value and respect all religions and beliefs. But sometimes it is so easy to talk about God because it just seems so natural to talk about him. And that is mostly what this post is about. Talking about God. And how much love there is in this world. Because of him.
I have struggled for years and years with my doubt about God. My spiritual journey has been so up and down. I have had so many questions and so much fear about God swirling around in my head and heart. That changed dramatically last July when Owen was born. Owen brought me closer to God than I ever knew possible. Because of love.
I am still a little iffy on quite a few of the religious details that I know mean a lot to people. But I am certain of one thing- God is love. I cannot say it enough. Regardless of religion, belief, practice, thoughts, literally anything, the most important thing is love.
And I believe kindness and respect naturally follow love. And as I have learned through Owen, the main thing I want out of life for me, him and all of us existing is love and kindness. If we take away all the details and the words and the confusion, at the core is love.
I love people. I love life. I love finding words to explain these feelings. I love my son for an infinite number of reasons. But one of the things I will be forever grateful to him for is how he changed my relationship with God. He helped me trust God. He strengthened our relationship because he showed me a love I didn’t know was possible until him. And I had nothing to do with that. That was God all the way.
I still have a ton of questions. And a whole lot of doubt. But I love talking about it. There’s that word again. Love. If I keep my focus on love I believe that the rest will come. Because in the end, all we truly need is love.