I am an honest and trustworthy person. I say that not to boast, but simply because it is part of my truth. And right now, I crave truth and authenticity.
Over the last 3 and a half months I have been searching a lot for my own truth. I have been searching through my strengths and my weaknesses. I feel like I have a lot more weaknesses right now. I have a lot to sort through. And I am okay with that truth for now. Because I believe I will have future moments where my strength returns. I’ve seen glimpses of those moments already. They are beautiful and I can’t wait for them to happen more and more. I know they will with time.
I have been searching and reflecting on the truths of each and every aspect of my life.
I am learning the truth about myself in my current emotional state and past emotional states. I am slowly uncovering the truth about my relationships. One truth I know for sure is that relationships are unbelievably confusing. Relationships are also really painful at times. But there is so much beauty in that truth.
God is a huge part of my truth right now. Every day I seek God and feel as if more and more truth is revealed to me.
One thing I know for sure is that we all have different truths. I believe God made us each to be unique individuals and serve different purposes. I obviously knew this before, but it has sunk in as I process through change and my new life path.
The biggest truth of all is that every day is different. When I look back at the last 99 days (yes I just counted), it’s mind blowing to think about how much has happened, how much has changed. But it’s also comforting to know that some things will stay the same.
Every morning when I wake up God will still be here. My family and friends will still love me. I will keep changing and so will they. But that’s the beauty of all of this. The change that happens. At almost 30 years old I have finally learned to embrace change. I even look forward to it. The truth is I have no idea what my life will look like tomorrow, a month from now, a year from now. No one does. For so long I tried to predict my future. I wanted desperately to control my life.
Now I’m working on letting go of control. That has been a huge truth for me. I am controlling. And I had a false sense of control. So I am doing my best to let it go. It’s so hard. But it’s also so freeing.
I want to follow what sets my soul on fire. Right now that includes God, Owen, my people, therapy, reading, music, running and writing. Who knows what it will include tomorrow. And that truth is so comforting and the truest thing I have felt in a long time. I have no idea what’s coming next. And that’s the truth.