Today you turned 30. It was a day filled with emotions. Some moments were up and some moments were down. The majority of the moments today were bursting with love and joy. There were sad moments too; moments where you continued to grieve the loss of your marriage and of memories. But self, what I want you to remember most today is that you were loved and you were loved so very well.
Social media, just like life, has ups and downs. One of the best aspects of social media is the love that gets shared between family and friends. One of the hard parts of social media is that you don’t always get the full story. This is why I originally fell in love with blogging. I loved the blogs I read that were vulnerable and honest and real life. They were refreshing and sad and full of hope all at once.
Today, on my 30th birthday, I wanted to write myself a letter; a letter full of truth and confusion and hope. Because that’s where I am in life and that’s ok. And then in true blogger fashion, I wanted to share it.
My hope and prayer is that this letter gives someone hope and comfort knowing that they aren’t alone; whether they are a new momma learning the ropes, or celebrating a harder birthday or going through a divorce or mourning the loss of a loved one or just sitting at home feeling sad. I want to be a hope spreader and giver. I want to share my story and continue to put love out into the world.
Today as I celebrated a milestone birthday I faced head on one of the hardest lessons in life. That life comes with pain and sadness and we can’t control it. Life doesn’t always work out the way we hope and dream and want. But I am pretty sure the Rolling Stones had the right idea- you don’t always get what you want, but you get what you need.
Self, as you celebrated 30 today you got what you needed. You may have had a label as a single mom going through a divorce. And you definitely didn’t want that label at 30. But you got exactly what you needed today. Today on your 30th you spent time with God. And you went to therapy. And felt love from family and friends. And you had your health. And you loved on the most beautiful toddler boy that you get to call your son.
So thirty-year-old me listen close. Remember that in life there can be joy even in the midst of sorrow. Remember that quote you loved when you were going through something hard at 17? The one about everything is ok and if it’s not ok it’s not the end? Well, it still applies at 30.
In the end, it really will be ok. It’s frustrating that on your 30th you are in the messy middle, but that’s the way life works sometimes. And you are learning to be at peace with that. 30 year old self I’m so proud of you. I’m proud of your resilience and strength and love. You are struggling, but you’re also growing. And it’s beautiful. So keep on keeping on 30 year old me. Welcome to a new decade and new adventures and a whole lotta love.