I want you to know something little boy. I started writing for you my little boy. I started writing to process this new life altering journey into motherhood.
But over the last 2 years it has become so much more. It has become a place where I process our story, a safe landing spot when things in life seem to become just too much. Words heal and inspire me. Baby boy, you do the same thing for me.
Writing has become such a gift in my life. And I have you to thank. I have you to thank for so much. You will forever be my biggest gift.
Little boy, no matter what happens in this world, I want, no I need, you to know that you are unconditionally loved.
One day I hope you will read these words. By that point, we will have had many conversations about the last year and about how love works and grows and changes. I pray you always feel comfortable talking to me. I pray I will always be a safe place for you to land.
When I first started writing for you, to you, about you, I was worried about what you would think of these words. I still keep that in mind. But as I grow, I have learned to no longer live in fear.
Little boy, I pray you don’t live in fear either. I pray you always feel comforted. When we fall asleep together at night you love to repeat “Mommy keep Owen safe”. My love, that will be true for eternity.
My sweet two year old, I pray you always keep your sense of adventure. You love to explore and learn and play and laugh. Thank you for always making me smile and for reminding me to see the world with fresh and open eyes.
Little boy, you seem to have inherited some of your momma’s anxiety. I see it when you worry about loud noises or when you are scared when I leave the room.
In some ways this breaks my heart, but I also believe it will strengthen you. Because you will learn compassion for yourself and for others.
You will learn to be gentle with yourself when you are anxious and to find ways to ground yourself in the truth that you are safe and so very loved.
I love the way you love, my sweet boy. The other night when mommy was sad on the couch, you stopped playing and very purposefully walked over to give me a hug.
You were not even yet 2, and you were putting others before yourself. That is how this world is meant to be lived in: with selfless love and compassion.
It is such an adventure watching you grow up. I love watching your personality develop and I know without a doubt, that you will be a beautiful and loving light in this world.
I thank God every day that He chose me to be your momma. Happy Birthday to my spunky, adorable, loving, verbose, athletic, and amazing little boy. I love you like crazy.