It’s 6:41 p.m. on a Thursday. I’ve cried 3 times today and it’s not even bed time. Nothing unusual has happened today. I have just felt extra emotional. I am a feeler; a deep, extra- sensitive feeler. Over-sharing, uncontrolled crying and intense feelings have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.
One of the reasons I cried today was watching the show “This Is Us”. There’s a scene where the mom, Mandy Moore, says that the moment of her first granddaughter being born was the happiest of her life. But within that same happy moment, it was also one of the saddest moments because her late husband was not there to share it with her.
Her point hit me hard when she said “I have to accept the happiest moments of my life are also going to be filled with sadness”.
When you are grieving a life that went very differently than you expected, Mandy Moore’s words rings true for those of us grieving. Whether it’s due to a divorce or loss or whatever it may be that’s causing the grief, emotions naturally become mixed and can be hard to navigate.
Being a deep feeler can be extra challenging sometimes. But it can also be extra beautiful, because not only does it give your own personal emotions the freedom to let loose, it gives others a sense of comfort and security to know that their own emotions are safe with you.
I get embarrassed sometimes when I cry because I feel like I should be holding it together more. But at the same time, it allows me such a release to truly be the most authentic version of myself.
I believe so much in finding and doing our best to maintain the balance in life. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life focused on my tears. But I also don’t want to ignore the truth that life can be really painful and hard sometimes.
So maybe God gave us the ability to laugh and cry at the same time for a reason, so that we know that our happy and sad moments can coexist together and that there truly is no shame in letting thetears fall.